Monday, September 8, 2014


My eye is finally healing.  During the healing process, I had lots of time to think and write and ponder about having back to back injuries.  I was just getting better with my hip. That was upsetting.  No Yoga.  Everything hurt.  All I could think about is teacher training is starting in a few months and I am injured.  How am I going to do this?  X-rays showed nothing.  Basically my psoas where tight, my hips constantly and unconsciously tilting forward.  I did classes in Anusura yoga which helped  immensely and just when I was starting to feel like my old self, I injured my eye. 

I don't know about you, but when I get injuried, I go deep.  What was I not seeing? Or didn't want to see? What is clouding my vision? or Unclear? What is it that I am not focusing on? When I had my hip injury, I focused on stability.  The hips relate to stability. A mother balances her child on her hips. the hips also relate to anger.  I had a lot of anger.  I was "focusing" on a situation that I had no power over.  I can't and don't use the phrase "Let Go".  Letting Go is not easy.  It's work and to me just sounds like something else I have to do.  Pick up the laundry, buy milk, feed the cat, and, oh, Let Go. Please. 

But what if being injured is not such a bad thing?   For all the worrying I did over missing classes due to my hip, it actually was what I needed.  A break.  I came back to practice stronger and more flexible.  What if my stability being shaken wasn't actually being shaken up from my own anxieties and from outside sources but rather because I was shaking up my life.   I was shaking up the comfortability of my everyday life.     I was embarking on Teacher Training.  I took a year to mediate on it.  I spoke with my family and they understood this was going to be my priority.  So why all the anxiety?    Filling out the application caused me anxiety.  Waiting to hear if I was going to be accepted caused me anxiety.  What if I get accepted and can't do this???     As I have gotten closer to teacher training, the less my hip hurts.  It is going to be interesting to "see" if once I settle into training, if the pain subsides for good.  What if I can't do this? But...What if I can?   And that is what I chose to "focus" on... injured eye and all. <3